Doodads and Weenies
by CApTaIN MRs. FaRQuAR bLoOm
Summary: Spidey interacts with Farquar and Green Goblin with Lorilie. More characters as the story progresses... Its kind of a SpidermanPirates fic muahahaha!
1. Default Chapter

Chappie 1: An unforeseen doodad

Our scene begins with a sick girl in bed. It seems she's on the brink of death. Suddenly a man appears and approaches her. He is dressed in a red and blue skin-tight suit that fits him snugly. He whispers her name under his breath and kneels down beside her bed.

"Spidey?" She speaks!

"I'm here." He reaches for her hand and clutches it tightly.

"I'm sorry." The girl breaks off as a tear falls gently down her face.

The man reaches over and lets the tear drop in his hand. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I will always love you." These are her last words.

The man leans in takes off his mask and the kisses the girl on her lips. He stands and just as he is about to exit the girl stirs and sits up. He turns and is amazed.

"You have a healing touch."

The man grins and walks over to her and he scoops her in his arms.

"What about MJ?"

"I love you Farquar, you are the only one for me."

"I love you too my spidey, but please, call me Jenni. I still haven't forgiven my drunken pirate parents for the foul name they bestowed on me."

"Are you ready to fly?"

"Indeed! But one tiny request, can we go pick up a friend of mine first?"

e ponders for a moment that replies, "Alright, your wish is my command. Who do you want to pick up?"

"My friend, Lorilie."

"To Lorilie's casa it is…"

Pick up Lorilie and fly around for a little while

Suddenly they encounter the green goblin and he says, "Do you know these guys?"

Spiderman replies, "Yes sir."

Suddenly Lorilie's eyes turn to hearts and have a certain glow/twinkle to them. She attacks Green Goblin because (isn't it obvious?) she's in love. She rides on his back and they glide around for a while. During their adventure they pass Mr. Jameson's office and Goblin says, "Do you this guy?"

Jenni chuckles to herself at her foolish friend. "What a funny weenie."

Spiderman decides to take Jenni back to his apartment. He sits her down on his bed and gazes at her intently.

"Spidey? My spidey senses tell me its time to fondle!"

Spiderman just replies with a loud, "Indeed!"

As soon as they are about to fondle, Lorilie bursts in and screams, "The Green Goblin will attack the city if you don't… if you… if you don't show him you doodad."

Spiderman and Jenni both gasp!

Lorilie notices Spidey's doodad is hanging out already and realizes what was about to go down. She grins and takes a picture with her Polaroid camera. Then she jumps on her glider to show Green Goblin. She finally arrives and gives him el picture.

Lorilie: "Is this sufficient enough for you?"

Goblin: "Erm…"

Lorilie: "Oh stop your babbling!"

Goblin: "I do not babble!"

Lorilie: "Don't worry it makes you sexier."

Goblin: "You think I'm sexy?"

Lorilie: "Goblin, have you ever sail hoisted?"

Goblin: "Erm… sail hoisting?"

Lorilie: sighs, looks to audience Do u believe this guy?

Goblin: "Oooooooo I get it! Sailing, right?"

Lorilie: "FONDLING U BLESSED DOODAD!!!!!!"

Goblin: "Fondling?"

Lorilie: steps back "Go fly a kite!"

Goblin: "What is with this Wilhelmi chatter?"

Lorilie: "You know Ms. Wilhelmi?"

Goblin: "Who doesn't?"

Lorilie: "Goblin?" Pushes him on the bed Can I call u greenie? Sits upon him

Goblin: "Er…"

Lorilie: Fiddle faddles with her clothes

Goblin: squirms

Lorilie: "IT IS TIME!" (says it just like Rafiki in the lion king)

Goblin: finalizes realizes what's going on "Why didn't u say so, luv? Let me go get some rum!"

Lorilie: "Greenie!!!! Your using pirate chatter!"

Goblin: "Aye, miss!" takes off mask thingy

Lorilie: gasps "Jack?" (Whoa , whoa, whoa, she thinks to herself.) Wheezes

Goblin: Captain Jack Sparrow, luv.

Lorilie: "All this time you made think it was a stupid goblin, but its you!!!"

Goblin: "Aye."

Lorilie: slaps jack "Dont do it again!" Then kisses him

Lorilie helps Jack out of his goblin suit. It was very hard. Jack grabbed some rum and sat with Lorilie on the bed.

Jack: "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

Lorilie, the drunk lass, laughs and chugs more rum down her throat. Jack leans over and kisses her. Then the fondling begins…

OK, well that's the first chapter of my story. Don't worry friends you will all be appearing in it, I just gotta decide if I want to go the pirate route or Spiderman. Please review!!!


	2. Mission

Chapter 2: Mission

Dedication: This chappie is dedicated to my dearest friends… you know who u be… KND (Lorilie, Adriana, Teresa, and Yanik) Enjoy…

Jenni woke early the next morning to the smell of burning. She opened her eyes and noticed that Spidey had just pulled out burnt biscuits from the oven. She chuckled to herself, but found it rather heartwarming that he had made an attempt at her favorite breakfast food. Suddenly Spidey looked up and noticed Jenni was awake and the smirk on her face.

"I'm sorry luv, I really did try."

"Tis ok Spidey," Jenni replied back getting out of bed, "after last night you can burn anything."

Spidey grinned and came towards Jenni. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and stared into her eyes. She stared back. They did this for a while not saying anything just taking in each other's simple but beautiful attributes. All of a sudden Spidey looked and sniffed the air. He went to the window and looked out.

"The Spidey signal!"

Spidey looked back at Jenni for approval.

"Go… I can't be selfish… I'll be at the coffee shop on the corner if you need me."

Spidey was already out the window. Jenni turned to the mess that Spidey called 'home' and decided she would decorate. She cleaned up his burnt mess and the made the bed. She took a shower and dressed in fresh clothes. She grabbed her purse and her To Do List she had made for herself.

First stop was the coffee shop on the corner where she met her friends every morning for gossip and idle chatter. She walked into the familiar surrounding and waved to Pleakley, her alien friend who owned the quaint shop. She made her way to the back and smiled at her friends who were already sitting in their usual booth. She sat down and immediately burst into a fit of giggles when she noticed Lorilie wasn't here yet.

"What is it?" Adriana asked at once.

"Guess who she was with last night?"

"Green Goblin," Yignacio stated.

Adriana and Jenni glared at her. They were sick of her psychic powers it was quite unnerving.

"Sorry, It's not my fault I come from-

" A great line of mystical 'seeing' ancestors," Adriana and Jenni quickly finished for her. They had heard this quite too many times.

At that precise moment Lorilie burst in with a huge grin on her face. She made her way to the back and sat down in her usual seat next to the statue of the great 'Stitch.' She nodded her head toward it and gave her respects. Afterwards she looked up to see her three friends' We-know-what-went-down-with-you last-night faces.

"Guys! He was Jack in disguise!"

There was a loud gasp around the table and soon after the sound of applause.

"He asked me to set sail with him, but I haven't decided yet," Lorilie continued.

"Well, we can think about that later we need to discuss our further plans about Teresa," Jenni broke in.

Teresa was one of the gang as well, but she had been missing for a month and the girls had been trying to do everything in their power to find her, but got very few leads.

Suddenly and freakishly and owl flew by and dropped an envelope onto the table. It was addressed to the girls of the corner house coffee shop. Jenni picked it up and opened it with a queer look on her face. She pulled out a letter and showed it to everyone. It was about Teresa!

Dear Girlies,

I have captured your precious friend Teresa and am keeping her in my custody. I have worked my magic on her and in due time she will stay that way permanently. If you have any interest in seeing her in her normal state again, we must battle!

It was signed Sincerely, Voldy. Enclose in the envelope was a picture of a teacup, on the other side of the picture it read, your precious 'EL TEACUP.'

"Guys you know what this means, right," Jenni told the others.

"Yes, we must go and venture beyond our borders, once again into the magic world to defeat once and for all that evil man," Adriana replied back.

"Indeed!"

"Can I bring Greenie along?" Lorilie asked.

"I think we are going to need all the men we can get, as there will be a lot of traveling time…" Yignacio stated.

"Aye! We must fight onward to save our teacup!" The girls all said in unison.

"Shall I contact Dumbledore?" Jenni inquired.

"At once!" Lorilie replied back.

So Yignacio reached in her bag and pulled out her crystal ball. They all gazed into it and held hands.

"Do you think it will work 'teacup-less'?" Adriana asked.

"It shall." Yignacio said.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jenni said. "How come you never knew what was to come of Teresa if you see the future?"

"Dark magic has been interfering with my 'seeing,' Yignacio replied back.

Adriana, Lorilie, and Jenni looked at each other. They all knew that Yignacio couldn't really see the future, but just played along to make her feel better. Sometimes she would get things right, but more then often she was very wrong indeed.

They continued their performances to contact Dumbledore. The crystal ball was real though, it was gift from the big magic guy himself when they left Hogwarts a few years ago. The begin their chant "We girls of mystic, magic, fondling, and oddity request the aide of our friend Dumblie."

All of a sudden Dumbledore appeared within the ball and greeted everyone with a warm smile. They informed him of the letter they had received. He looked back reacted differently to every part of the letter. Finally when they were finished he spoke.

"My Ladies, I think you know what you must do. Venture out and find your old peers Sir Sam and Sir Patreek. Tell them of your news and prepare for journey. Bring Spidey and Greenie with you (he nodded toward Jenni and Lorilie)."

"Where shall we set forth and how will we travel?" Adriana asked.

"By ship, as you know should know, Greenie is really Capt. Jack Sparrow and Spidey, young Will Turner. You have been on adventures with them before. I will bestow you all with magic gifts that will take you all into the magic world and lead you to the right path where Voldy lies. On the way I expect you will meet some old friends and gain new ones. This is a dangerous mission, but I trust you will use your minds and be successful. You will receive your gifts soon, but as soon as I depart I want you to prepare for your journey. Teresa needs our help and we need to get her fast. Call upon her lover, Lennon, love leads the way. I wish you all good luck. Remember to be on the lookout for the magical items and say in touch. I love you all so very much, I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

They all felt warm inside and waved the greatest wizard good-bye as he disappeared into the magical fog that filled the crystal ball. Adriana got up and went quickly to call upon Sir Sam and Sir Patreek. Lorilie and Jenni went to go inform their loves. Yignacio was alone at the table and once she was sure the other s were out of earshot she took out her phone.

After moving it around in the air for several minutes to try and find service she punched in the numbers that were neatly printed out a piece of paper.

"Hello, Doc. I need you luv."

Ok well that's it for this chappie thanks to everyone who reviewed, and yea I'll try to update faster.


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